I Was Told There Would Be Nudity....

Um, of course my friends and I went to see "Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part I". We've seen all of them.

We picked a random Tuesday night, which was perfect, because the sparse audience was entirely comprised of women far too old to be excited about a 'tween movie. Women drinking copiously. (Because we only frequent movie theaters that serve alcohol. Duh.)

It meant that our raucous laughter and running commentary wasn't ssssshhhhhh'd by legions of teen Twihards desperate for their first glimpse of a sexual act between the newly-married Bella and Edward. (What good kids they are - NO PREMARITAL SEX HERE!) It meant that we could snort with laughter every time the awkward-looking Jasper graced the scene. Seriously - casting fail. I truly believe that they originally cast him on a whim, realized far too late into it that he spends every scene looking as though someone inserted a broomstick up into his posterior, and then realized they were stuck with him for the entirety of the series, because while it seems you can swap out lesser actors at whim, the primary player should probably remain the same in a movie series. Harry Potter's Dumbledore notwithstanding, obvs. (Spell check just told me that I misspelled "Dumbledor." Congrats J.K. Rowling - your made-up names have infiltrated Microsoft spell check. You truly do own a good chunk of the world.)

The best part was, not only did we have a good, rowdy group of girls, but we brought along our friend, Joel, who had not seen any of the movies nor, to my knowledge, read the books. To come into the series at the fourth movie was brave of him, but he was helped along by the delicious Landmark rendition of a Dark 'n Stormy. And, of course, our witty commentary, which always includes a running debate on just how much Taylor Lautner resembles an alpaca. (Fact.)

Anyhoodle, it's nice to know that although my friends are all embarking on new milestones in their lives as we face the #dirtythirty, we can still rustle up some fun on a Tuesday night at the movies. But only theaters that serve alcohol. And only at movies aimed at the 13-21 demographic. Really, they're movies made for us.

This Time, Baby, I'll Be Bulletproof

Oh, La Roux. You are so amazingly androgynous and fantastic. I love your music. I love your shiny coat. I love your pouf. Your pouf tells Snookie to go home, eat an entire package of Double-Stuf Oreos and cry herself to sleep for being the epitome of lame. Your pouf is like one giant, raging, exclamatory finger telling the world precisely what it can do with itself should it not immediately recognize and bow down to your greatness. Your humility and polite British accent then make us suspect that, deep down, you truly enjoy a cup of tea and a good crossword puzzle. Possibly you have a cat. Most likely you call your grandmother on a regular basis, just to catch up.
And then there's Far East Movement. Highly energetic, highly engaging, highly entertaining and....100% odd. Oh well, it works for them.

This Is Why I Will Never Be An Adult

Clean ALL the things?

Hyperbole and a Half. Current Obsession.

My Life Would Suck (Without You)

Oh, Kelly Clarkson. I have the deepest of love for you, ever since you graced us with "A Moment Like This" while Justin "I'm Totally Not Gay Because I Got Married To A Woman" Guarini stood by with his perfect 'fro and his perfect gap between his perfect teeth to smile you onward towards your pop career.

I digress. That was an aside, believe it or not.

The point of this blog update was to announce the reinstatement of @NewGlitterati's Twitter account. I canceled it awhile back because, well, it just seemed like one more thing. Like honestly, I already have an entire blog dedicated to my mindless musings...who the heck wants to follow my mindless musings throughout the day? To be honest, I never really got the point of Twitter. Facebook I could get on board with, for some reason, but Twitter....it was just one more account to check, one more log-in, one more thing to update. It's possible I will reach this level of frustration again, but since I've been cleaning house and shaping up around here (did you notice the changes? No? Really? Take another look. Go on...I'll give you a moment. No, really. Seriously? Wow. Come back and read this blog after a good 8 hours of sleep and we'll discuss this again. SERIOUSLY?!) I figured I'd get back on the multi-directional bandwagon of technology.

So yeah, you know, follow me or whatever or don't. It's fine by me. I can't promise anything staggeringly funny or different, but I can promise that at some point I'll most likely post something I'll later regret, I'll frequently mention weird inside jokes, and I'll probably talk a lot about food and drinks and movies and music since those are four of my Most Favorite Things and things to which I dedicate a lot of time. I'll try to be good and actually keep up with it this time.

But seriously, I thought I'd slip through the changes to the blog and just not say anything which, in retrospect, was a little rude. Those of you who have been coming here for years temporarily freaked out wondering if you'd somehow stumbled onto the wrong blog. It's sort of like when you come home for the summer after college and discover- gasp- that your family has converted your room into, say, a guest bedroom (or that your younger brother has hijacked it, boxed up all your stuff, painted it a different color, and moved in- NOT THAT THIS STILL BOTHERS ME OR ANYTHING) and you feel a little bereft at having been left out of the decision-making process.

I'm sorry, Glitteratis. But if I stared at that blank white page for one more second....it's had the same layout since inception (NOT the movie...) in March of 2008. 2.5 long years we've had here together, eh? Anyway....

The changes are not permanant and it may take awhile before I find a layout that I (and you, dear readers) can really feel at home in. But I liked this one for the meantime. A little cozy, no? Kind of makes you want a cup of tea and a cookie, eh?

Mmm...cookie.

On this lovely Wednesday evening, I am enjoying a glass of Martin Codax tempranillo in a (very loud) cafe and tempting myself with the idea of something sweet.

Movie I watched last night: Happy Go Lucky. Loved it. Took me awhile to place Sally Hawkins until I remembered that she'd guest starred on several episodes of Little Britain.

Welcome back, Glitteratis. Settle in. Have a glass of wine. Or a cookie. Or both! It's all fine here!

Oh, and follow me or whatever.

Michael Buble Stalked by Velociraptor

Was in need of a good laugh today, and then Josh sent me this. I couldn't even begin to tell you why it's hilarious; it. just. is.

That is some excellent PhotoShop.

In other news: I will soon be acquiring "1 Dead in Attic" which was recommended to me by several New Orleanders (is that the correct word? Who cares? It's Friday.) to supplement my understanding of post-Katrina NOLA.

In other news: went to see Ben Folds on Wednesday night (4th time I've seen him live), and he was just as phenomenal a performer in 2010 as he was in 2001, the first time I saw him. He played some ancient Ben Folds Five ("Army," "Brick," and "Kate," to name a few) as well as some more current songs reflective of pop culture. I love the collaboration of Nick Hornby and Ben Folds. Dreamy. AND, he did Chat Roulette live on-stage during his performance. I didn't know anything about Chat Roulette, and now most of what I know is that it's questionable at best and downright disgusting at worst. Still, hilarious.

Happy Friday.

Current Obsessions

1. HBO's new gem, How to Make It In America. Because we're all hustling in one way or another to make a dollar. Good critique of the struggles of trying to eke out an identity while balancing debt, rent, and finding some semblance of pride in your work. Hilarious asides of art world critique as well, and amazing filmography of the best city in the world.

2. The Hour I First Believed, by Wally Lamb. As usual, Lamb's prose packs epic heartbreak into a single sentence, and then strings those sentences together with a bleak outlook on modernity. The third of Lamb's canon (behind wrenchers like She's Come Undone and I Know This Much Is True), Lamb once again finds ways to weave history and pop culture into bitterly painful narratives. This time, Lamb utilizes the 1999 Columbine shootings as the beginning of a troubled couples' undoing and traces their downfall with Katrina as another turning point in the plot. Epically long, but not a dense read as Lamb still relies on fairly conversational prose putting the reader inside protagonist Caelum's constant inner monologue.

3. John Mayer. At least he's honest. Still, it becomes problematic when the world begins to forget what it is he does exactly. You're a musician, Mayer. No one expects you to be squeaky clean, but at least let the tabloids do all of your dirty talk for you. Keep writing love songs. That's all anyone asks of you.

4. Californication. Finished with Season 1, onto Season 2. Further illustration of why those in creative fields have excessive problems with narcissism, alcoholism, and a host of other "-isms." The constant weight of carrying around a body of work within oneself that has yet to come forth in any logical or productive way, and the incessant existential fear of being forever unable to actually produce anything of value lead to self-medication, constant introspection, and an inability to properly relate to anything outside of oneself. Plus a whole lot of sex, drugs, rock-n-roll, and unrequited love. I can't get enough of Hank Moody.

5. New Orleans. As I gear up for my trip in two weeks to the still-recovering areas of America's messiest social-natural disaster, I'm doing my preparative research. What's being uncovered for me is a whole lot of realization of how much racism and classism play into these devastations and how, world-wide, these problems are the root of everything that's been forgotten as societies progress. So much has been swept under the rug, glossed over, and forgotten about five years after the fact.

Speaking of, thanks to those of you still hanging in there with this blog. My goal is to blog everyday during the trip to New Orleans, with pictures, commentary, and updates. I haven't forgotten about you, Glitteratis, I promise. Hang in there with me.

Cheers.

Happy Weekend!

It's been a three-mimosa brunch over here, and I'm about to go get a pedicure with Whack. However it is you're spending your weekend, I give you this gift to swift enjoyment:

Watch and learn.

You're welcome.

Things I Am Currently Adoring

1. Up in the Air. How very apt, expressive, and bittersweetly not surprising. I was OK with the non-surprises, however, because the writing was perfectly in tune. There wasn't a wrong note in the dialogue.

2. Avatar. Because I've been meaning to watch Pocahontas again. No, but seriously- it's worth the press it's getting for sheer spectacle. The story is predictable, the dialogue lame, but call me a sucker for a show pony when it comes to graphics and imaginative animation.

3. Going to see The Lovely Bones tomorrow night with Whack, Jackal and Nickle. I'm intrigued by what I've seen on previews so far, because it's quite an intellectual and imaginative separation from what I pictured while reading the book. As an avid fan of watching films made from books, I feel this could only work in its favor. Everyone knows that the film will never be the book (no matter how many times the Harry Potter or Twilight empires attempt), and I am fully supportive of the two being able to stand alone as substantial artistic pieces. I don't mind if the movie isn't like the book, or vice versa, if they're both compelling works.
4. My new Neti pot. I've long been a promoter of homeopathic means of healing and so, this winter, I'm putting my money where my nasal passages are and attempting to ward off the inevitable sinus infection that comes around every winter for me. The constant flux of temperature and humidity in February and March never fails to leave me without at least two weeks of complete misery, usually culminating in having to go to the doctor and weep for antibiotics, and this year I'm starting early in hopes of dodging it. We'll see. My first experience was weirdly satisfying and somehow quite cleansing, although this could be placebo effect of proactivity which a lot of homeopathy sometimes seems to be. And in order to make the whole thing sound more appealing, I can start saying that I've begun a practice of Jala-neti, which sounds so much more worldly and disciplined.


5. Reading. Unless I'm on vacation in the summer, I always read more in winter. It's cold, the blaring noise of the TV bothers me after awhile, and all I want to do is hunker down under a blanket with a good Malbec and demolish a pile of books. Currently reading/finishing: The Dive from Clausen's Pier and Revolutionary Road, and then about to start Waiter Rant and The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society.