Ski Dubai and some General Observations

Greetings, Glitterati! I'm going to be wrapping up my Abu Dhabi posts just in time for my next bout of travel which begins towards the end of this month. The Gentleman and I are headed out west for a wedding in California, and I'm making a stop on the way to visit Lee and Hot Curry (WHO NEVER UPDATE THEIR DAMN BLOG) in Salt Lake where I am excited to go hiking, drink delicious microbrews, see Mormons in their natural habitat, and hopefully stalk dooce. In a totally non-stalkery, breezy, Imagine seeing you here! sort of way where I die inside and try to hold it together and not be all OMG IT'S HEATHER ARMSTRONG!. Because that would be weird.

Anyhoodle, on my last trip out to Abu Dhabi, we totally went to Ski Dubai. We had to. How can you not? It's a ski resort in the middle of a mall. We saw it on our first trip out there and vowed to return.

A friend who had been before prepped us as to what to bring/wear and that was incredibly helpful. They give you full-body jump suits and warm socks, which is included in the lift ticket, but we brought hats and gloves with us. You can buy them there at the sport's shop but they aren't cheap. 

We went in the middle of the day on a Monday and it wasn't crowded at all, but I'm told that it can be packed on weekends with long lines. We paid for two hours of skiing and, believe me, that was plenty. This is not a ski resort - this is one run (two if you count the bunny hill, which is really just the lower half of the larger run), and it's about a 5 minute ride to the top in the ski lift (yes, there's a lift). With no lines to contend with, we probably got at least a dozen or so runs in with time for a coffee and snack break at the Apres Ski located halfway down the run. You can also do a full day pass, but unless it's really crowded I can't imagine wanting to be there for a full day of skiing.

SKI DUBAI INTENSE

Lift tickets and free socks!

My totally awesome skiing suit.

One thing I wasn't expecting was that it was cold. Underneath that jump suit, I'm wearing shorts and a T-shirt because it's approximately 98 thousand degrees outside (it's THE MIDDLE EAST), but once inside the conditioned ski area, it's freezing. I had gloves and a hat on, as well as multiple pairs of socks, and I got so cold that we had to take a break in the Apres Ski cafe for some espresso to warm up for a bit. Don't be fooled by the fact that it's a man-made ski slope in the middle of the mall - it's cold as hell.

The slope itself is also a decent run. It takes just a minute or so to get to the bottom, and there are several different paths you can take depending on your skill level, but it's actually not a bad incline. After about a dozen or so runs, however, we got bored of the same old scenery (tall walls painted industrial blue and fake trees and wooden lodges).

They also have a Snow Park with penguins, toboggans, bobsled, snowball throwing area, and an igloo. I get it: it's the desert, this is exoticism at its highest. But having grown up in the Mid-Atlantic North East, I can't imagine purchasing a day pass to go and play in snow. 

It was definitely a lot of fun. I hadn't been on skis in years, so it was good practice to gear up for hopefully some ski trips in the future. It was also pretty opulent to be inside a snow globe of man-made snow in the middle of the desert. Sort of the ultimate in opulence, really.

Which brings me to the last of my observations from this May 2013 trip. I've been to Abu Dhabi twice now and am headed back over for New Years in December. And there are a couple'a things that seem to remain consistent. 

1. Park anywhere you like.

I thought Rome, Italy, and Amman, Jordan, were the most ridiculous in terms of trying to drive. And then came Abu Dhabi. Everyone has giant, obnoxious cars, and everyone drives them in giant, obnoxious ways. Rules? Regulations? Pssshh. Do whatever you have to do, park wherever, double park, park on the curb, it's ok! THERE ARE NO RULES HERE IT'S CHAOS. Until you get in an accident. Then, there are lots and lots of rules and you're screwed.

2. Seriously.

PDA is a no-no. Hand holding, kissing in public, NO. NOT ALLOWED. We've tried to be extremely careful, but hey- we're in a long-distance relationship, and sometimes there's a hand-brushing incident or an arm around the shoulder or a quick, sneaky kiss. We take our chances when we do these things though, because as a non-married couple in a Muslim country, it's not only rude and inconsiderate, but it's illegal. As in - you will most likely be fined, but you could possibly serve jail time, or even be deported. So be careful. Just don't mess around. Think about it like this: don't do anything that you wouldn't do in church under the watchful gaze of the Pope. Be considerate. Be polite. These are not just religious considerations, but cultural. People in the US don't like public make-out sessions in nice restaurants - this is similar. Be considerate.

3. The architecture is incredible.

 The UAE is a relatively young country - it became independent from Britain in 1971 - and since then, the oil boom has been quite lucrative. Buildings here are "dressed to impress,"with attention to detail and clamoring for attention. Unfortunately, it seems like infrastructure hasn't always kept up with the incredible rate of growth and there are still some kinks to be worked out (like traffic patterns and fire escape routes). But, I never get tired of staring out at the buildings in Abu Dhabi and Dubai. 

The Corniche

Gulf of Arabia (NOT the "Persian Gulf," as I've been told)

4. It's full of surprises.

This was an ad in the Ladies' Toilets in the Mall of the Emirates in Dubai. There is so much going on here. It's amazing. The Gentleman didn't believe me when I first told him about it, so I had to go back into the Ladies' and take a picture.

Or, you know, a stretch Hummer just parked randomly on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. That, too.

Sandance

The whole point of going to Dubai for the weekend, originally, was because we'd all bought tickets to go to Sandance. And although we wound up doing plenty that weekend, Sandance really was the culminating event.

A month or so before I flew out there, I'd seen that Florence + The Machine was slated to play Dubai. I saw F+TM open for U2 a couple of summers ago, and she is just as amazing in concert as she is produced. But not only that, she was appearing with a pretty fantastic line-up at Atlantis Dubai. 

Sandance is really an all-day event, but we went just for the night portion of it. Traffic getting out to Atlantis was pretty bad - it's located on the very outer ring of the Palm Island that Dubai is so famous for, and there is one way onto the island and one way off - a four lane highway/tunnel that was completely chock-a-block. We took cabs as far into the island as we could, and then managed to get out at Atlantis - but only because we happened to have a friend staying at the hotel. They don't let any other riff raff in, and the actual Sandance concert is located a half mile or so away on a beach. 

Atlantis:


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Because we had a friend staying there, we were able to take an open-air little shuttle bus from the Atlantis grounds directly to Sandance. I'm not entirely sure how everyone else was expected to get there, but I'm told that for Sandances past, a lot of people wind up getting out of their cabs and walking the rest of the way.

I should also mention that it was about 90 degrees, at 9 o'clock at night, with about 80% humidity. Which was actually quite pleasant compared to what it could have been, believe it or not.

I think tickets were going for about $80 a person, and there were options to purchase tables (which come with varying levels of alcohol packages), but we opted for General Admission since we only went for the night portion. The dress, supposedly, was "beach attire" for daytime, but it seemed like everyone was barefoot in shorts or dresses. Also, I'm pretty sure Sandance might have been one big gathering for every ex-pat in the United Arab Emirates. Either that, or a looooot of people flew in from out of town for the event. Sponsored by Toyota, bee-tee-dubs.

The main stage. And 40 bajillion ex-pats.

Drinks were an interesting process. You could buy your drinks individually, standing in a long line and hassling for the bartender's attention, or you could purchase a party pack. Which consisted of this:

That's two bottles of vodka, cranberry juice, coke, and Red Bull. Kind of an excessive amount of sugary mixtures. 

So, basically, I drank vodka and cranberry all night. With some Red Bull.

Getting ready for the headliner!

And...there she is. (On the big screen.) Amazing. SHE IS AMAZING. AND PRETTY. AND AMAZING.

At some point, it was determined that our cooler of vodka and Red Bull was not going to be enough to sustain all of us, and so someone purchased a flat of Heineken. It did not take long for all drinks to disappear. At this point, I think we wondered if maybe the bottle service at the tables would have been a better choice.

 

The concert was pretty amazing, but to be honest, it was one of those large-scale festival-type concerts with a lot of highly intoxicated persons and so the music sort of took second stage. That also could have been because we didn't get there until late, when many of the younger and less-seasoned but more-voracious partiers had been there since like noon. Still, it was a pretty awesome time, the music was fantastic, and the port-a-potties had bidets in them. No lie.

The end of the night got a little hectic as the whole group somehow got separated, but we all made it back to the hotel in various ways. Some of us more efficiently than others (a network of buses and cabs took concert-goers back inland to Dubai, but there was some confusion about which bus was headed to which hotel, and blah blah blah), but we all made it back safely.

And thus ended #ballerweekend in Dubai. As spectacularly as it began.

Epic Brunch

To know me is to understand that one of my most favorite things in the world is brunch. Despite the fact that I worked the brunch shift at a restaurant in Baltimore for five years, which is saying something. 

I'm going to digress for a minute here and speak briefly on the topic of working a brunch shift. There are a few altruisms that exist:

1. The menu says "No Substitutions During Brunch." Everyone will order extensive substitutions, sometimes altering the dish to the point where it is something entirely new. No, you may not order a Belgian waffle with eggs and substitute the waffle for pancakes and the eggs for French toast. You may certainly order pancakes and French toast, if you'd like. No? You still want the Belgian waffle with eggs? WELL, SHOCKINGLY, THAT IS WHAT YOU'RE GETTING. NO, YOU MAY NOT EAT HALF OF IT AND THEN SEND IT BACK CLAIMING THAT IT WASN'T "WHAT YOU ORDERED."

2. That big, glorious sign that says PLEASE WAIT TO BE SEATED? It exists only in the eyes of the serving staff. 

3. Persons with extensive food allergies - wheat, dairy, legumes, nuts, cinnamon, citrus, and water - like to go out to brunch. It's your job to ensure that their food does not touch any of the above items, or is even in the same room with any of the above items. This means you will have to make a quick trip out of the city to the nearest organic farm, pick a bowl of perfectly ripe berries, and rush it back, in traffic, to the guest. For a 10% tip. No problem.

I digress.

My point: even though working brunch shifts for five years completely ruined parts of my soul that I will never get back, I still love brunch. Looooooove it. Mimosas, Bloody Marys, bagels, eggs, home fries, a lazy meal with friends and loved ones....totes fave.

And then I had to go to Dubai and have every favorite brunch I've ever experienced get totally blown out of the water. First, let's set the scene.

This was Day 2 of #ballerweekend in Dubai, and the morning of Sandance. My boyfriend, The Gentleman, had been to brunch at this establishment before for a going-away party and decided that no #ballerweekend would be complete without brunch at Traiteurs. (Pronounced - we think - as "traders.") Traiteurs is located in the Park Hyatt Dubai and has a pretty renowned French brunch. Brunch is held only on Fridays from 12:30-4pm (and you WILL be there the entire time), and it's something like $125 per person. This might sound slightly steep for brunch. It is. But just wait.

The Park Hyatt is totally breathtaking. It's an oasis of lush gardens and a blend of typical Arabic architecture with a Mediterranean bent. Greenery in the UAE is a measure of wealth and opulence - in the middle of the desert and backed up against the super-salty Persian Gulf, it's not the ideal location for plants. I'm always curious about the monthly water bill these places must rack up from the upkeep of the landscaping alone.

Located on the Dubai creek, and you can see part of the skyline in the background.

It's cool - you can park your yacht here.

I'm sure this is Arabic for "you will be stuffed to the gills with magnificent food items."

We made the reservation something like two or three weeks in advance, partially because there were ten of us, and partially because Traiteur gets booked up for brunch quickly. There are different packages you can buy - we opted for the Veuve Clicquot package which includes the four hours of buffet-style brunch and unlimited bubbly. We ended up ordering some other drinks too - Irish coffees and Bloody Marys - which can be added on. But the champagne is unlimited, bitches, and we made sure to take advantage of that.

Special Veuve Clicquot glasses. Classy.

Ahh, that's better.

 Forget everything you think about buffets. First of all, there were different rooms full of food (ROOMS) and a hallway with a giant cheese table. Everything was ridiculously fresh, beautiful, and enticing. I had no idea how anyone could spend four hours at brunch. I know better, now. 

The buffet is divided into different rooms, and some of the food is cooked to order. The rooms are themed, with a seafood room, carving stations, an entire roast pig on a spit out on the patio, a dessert room, and that massive marble cheese table. 

Let's dive into the courses, shall we?

To start - smoked salmon, oysters, some sort of cream fraish parfait with green stuff and a fluffy little biscuit, and foie gras creme brulee. 

A salad course with various French cheeses, peppered tuna ceviche, and mini sushi rolls.

Soup course - it was about 100 degrees outside, so I opted for the cold ones - a gazpacho-like tomato based soup and a basil-veggie-pureed something. Delicious and refreshing.

More French cheese (I freaking LOVE stinky blue cheese), foie gras, a foie gras benedict (I also freaking LOVE foie gras), and a quail's egg atop a ham hash.

Foie gras liverwurst parfait, oysters, shrimp with eyes, salmon sashimi, and bacon-wrapped dates.

Cheese, cheese, and more cheese. And quince paste, apricots, and salami. Soooooo happy.

Of course there was lobster.

You look delicious.

 And the dessert room. Ohhhh the dessert room. Chocolate fountains, ice cream sundae stations, and tiered platters of colorful treats. It was like Willy Wonka's factory. (Obviously, I'd be Veruca Salt.)

I don't even know what all of these are, but they were amazing. AMAAAAAAZING.

 We sat and ate for four hours straight. Plate after plate, resting in between to sip champagne with friends in this beautiful dining room in a beautiful hotel on the water. It was pure, unadulterated luxury. Also, I probably don't need to tell you that this was the only meal we ate that day. After four hours of stuffing ourselves silly, we went back to the hotel to get ready for the main event - Sandance (post coming soon). 

While pricey and ridiculously opulent, a Dubai brunch is definitely one of those once-in-a-lifetime things. Come hungry, and don't plan to eat for the rest of the way. Or the weekend.