Blitzkrieg

Blitzkrieg.

"the art of concentrating strength at one point, forcing a breakthrough"

The True Joy

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman

Risk

Risk management: the effect of uncertainty on objectives (whether positive or negative.)

2010 was supposed to be a year of risk-taking.

Not like risk-taking in the past, which usually involved some sort of ill-conceived plan of mischief or giant leaps into abysses. I don't think there's anything wrong with a giant leap into an abyss every now and then. Good for the soul, especially when you have to climb your way up and out.

But 2010 was supposed to be a year of risk-taking that encompassed discovering new paths, new ways of thinking, and new life experiments. New Orleans will be a part of this; a week with strangers is far outside of my comfort zone, and I am not exactly a master carpenter. But I'll learn.

Stephanie Klein, for whom I still have a serious soft spot and a much greater tendency towards creating personal boundaries thanks to her homegrown and iron-clad brand of stating what you will and will not stand for in your life (you teach others how to treat you), recently wrote a blog post aimed at creating a new career mid-life. Specifically, it was about starting a writing career. I've started so many writing careers I can't keep track.

Her advice? Get the full-time job, and make it work for you. Find out how to get your employer to pay for extracurricular classes, use your vacation time to pursue your life's loves.

It isn't bad advice, certainly, but it sort of sails over my head because I've stalled out on that front: getting the full-time job. Apply, apply, apply, fill out more applications, talk to everyone you know, write your resume ten different ways in ten different fonts and scatter them to the winds. Searching for a job is a full-time job, and you're supposed to treat it as one.

Except it's the most thankless, exhausting, draining full-time job you could ever have.

Still, I read her blog post and realized that the thing that she was saying without really saying it had a whole lot to do with my ideas about risk: do what you gotta do, and find a way to make the doing a part of the greater process. Sometimes it doesn't look traditional, sometimes it's not exactly what you thought it might look like.

But you've gotta be doing something. And that's the risk. Inaction is laziness, it's safe, it's protecting, and it's also a very poisonous and stagnant way of being. Inaction leads to stultifying fear of taking a step in any one direction. I've found, in the last three or four years, that I'll be inactive for a great period of time before I'll finally just say, "Screw it," and jump. And the jumping is always somehow so much easier than I thought it would be. Mid-air, knowing not where I'll land, I somehow always find myself with this thought: "I should have done this a long time ago."

Whether it's a move, a career change, a new way of thinking- 2010 is the year of risk-taking, and it's time for me to get on that. I've been trying too hard for too long to do things the traditional way, and it's not working out. So let's approach it from a different angle. Find an internship. Volunteer. Get yourself in there, learn what you need to learn, and get out of this rut.

But, above all, make it work for you, not against you.

Circle One: Yes, No, Fail.

I received a letter from my undergrad. I assumed it was something asking me for money. Why do they keep bothering me? I already donated a sum to the Foreign Language department last year. (Twenty five dollars. Is that tax-deductible?)

It wasn't asking for money. It was a survey to be filled out and returned by February 12. (Oops.)

Greetings, Alumni! Please take a moment to fill us in on your career paths since you've left our institution.

I almost threw up.

List the number of employers you've had since your date of graduation (9), and please include your current position (bartender/server), how long you've been there (...gasp....two years), and any awards/promotions you've received in that time (crowned Lady Trivia.)

Please tell us, in a few words, how your degree has helped you attain this position.

Blank.

Please note if you would like your contact information to be made available to current students looking for a mentor in your particular field.

Starving artistry? Why sure, sign right up.

I threw the survey away. It was past-due anyway. To calm my nerves, I housed three pieces of chocolate and logged onto Facebook.

DON'T FORGET- AHS 10-YEAR REUNION PLANS HAVE BEGUN!!!!

Oh my God.

What have I done with my life? Besides pour two years into a narcissistic blog and house more vodka than Russia? I looked in the mirror yesterday and distinctly saw that I am getting lines around my eyes, regardless of whatever Whack tells me. I'm going to have to start purchasing creams that cost more than said vodka.

I had better figure some things out soon. I have already exceeded the cat-to-person ratio, already out-stayed my welcome as a starving artist in my mid-twenties, and have begun stressing about lines on my face. If I'm not careful, this quarter-life crisis will soon be a mid-life crisis.

I'm feeling a 2 today.

Addendum: Should have checked my horoscope for the day first.
"Even if you feel as though you've temporarily hit a brick wall, you must remember that nature often has bigger and better plans for us when we ourselves perceive failure. Nothing is a lost opportunity and your eventual success depends on you maintaining a positive attitude. Try not to be negative if things appear to go against you today. Keep your mind focused on the bigger picture."