Monday, August 30, 2010

Unearth

Mercury retrograde unearthed archived postings on this blog.

1,214 pages, to be exact.

And that's just up until about a year ago, which was the last time I archived the blog.

Oy.


two years ago:


"Is this how this whole thing is supposed to work? This whole dating thing? Because if it is, I'm done. I'm done. This is exhausting and pointless."



Like not everything in your life can fall apart at once, right?

I wound up at a karaoke bar singing 4 Non Blondes and imbibing more sake than a Tokyo wedding.


At which point Snap and I had a discussion: sometimes it’s just not about them. Sometimes, it’s just about art. And ourselves. Mostly ourselves. But sometimes art.


But it's more than that. Ending a relationship is always fraught with difficulty, no doubt, but when someone moves out there is a certain feeling of monumental failure that is pervasive and all-encompassing.



I will say, in retrospect, that the burning down of Metropolitan opened up an entire avenue of events that would not have happened otherwise.


one year ago:

They say the way out of any life crisis; be it when you're twelve, twenty one, twenty seven, or eighty four; is a plan.

In your catalog of losses,
You cannot count yourself as one.

We were only there for one drink before it was last call, and at this point everyone was ready to head home. As we were walking out, I felt a pair of strong arms stop me and pull me back, and I found myself face-to-face with a very unconvincing drag queen."You are so pretty," s/he whispered. "I love your earrings. Wherever did you get them?"

The fact that Jaunt once let "somebody" (i.e. a charismatic male) call her "Jill" for three years is unastonishing.

"You look tired." (Which translates to: you look like a big bag of crap.)

Let me interject here by saying this: I am the most highly-functioning depressed person in the world.

I very strongly believe that when you are open and ready for change in your life, opportunities and ideas present themselves to you in ways you may not have anticipated.

Today:

I simply want to enjoy this happy, busy, interesting life for awhile.