Friday, February 19, 2010

Circle One: Yes, No, Fail.


I received a letter from my undergrad. I assumed it was something asking me for money. Why do they keep bothering me? I already donated a sum to the Foreign Language department last year. (Twenty five dollars. Is that tax-deductible?)

It wasn't asking for money. It was a survey to be filled out and returned by February 12. (Oops.)

Greetings, Alumni! Please take a moment to fill us in on your career paths since you've left our institution.

I almost threw up.

List the number of employers you've had since your date of graduation (9), and please include your current position (bartender/server), how long you've been there (...gasp....two years), and any awards/promotions you've received in that time (crowned Lady Trivia.)

Please tell us, in a few words, how your degree has helped you attain this position.

Blank.

Please note if you would like your contact information to be made available to current students looking for a mentor in your particular field.

Starving artistry? Why sure, sign right up.

I threw the survey away. It was past-due anyway. To calm my nerves, I housed three pieces of chocolate and logged onto Facebook.

DON'T FORGET- AHS 10-YEAR REUNION PLANS HAVE BEGUN!!!!

Oh my God.

What have I done with my life? Besides pour two years into a narcissistic blog and house more vodka than Russia? I looked in the mirror yesterday and distinctly saw that I am getting lines around my eyes, regardless of whatever Whack tells me. I'm going to have to start purchasing creams that cost more than said vodka.

I had better figure some things out soon. I have already exceeded the cat-to-person ratio, already out-stayed my welcome as a starving artist in my mid-twenties, and have begun stressing about lines on my face. If I'm not careful, this quarter-life crisis will soon be a mid-life crisis.

I'm feeling a 2 today.

Addendum: Should have checked my horoscope for the day first.
"Even if you feel as though you've temporarily hit a brick wall, you must remember that nature often has bigger and better plans for us when we ourselves perceive failure. Nothing is a lost opportunity and your eventual success depends on you maintaining a positive attitude. Try not to be negative if things appear to go against you today. Keep your mind focused on the bigger picture."

2 comments:

Josh said...

I have a "career" but it's not who I am. I'd rather be a 50 something starving artist then in middle management (and I have a feeling you would too).

Jodi said...

I am sorry you were feeling like a 2 momentarily. I hope that passed. I feel like today is a 2 and we are just 7s trying to survive it. Surely the problem is external.