Too much heavy stuff around here! One of my greatest pleasures is composing the Friday Trivia Email, with which I take dramatic creative license.
NOTE: My trivia emails are ONLY KIND OF MOSTLY fiction. Any resemblance to real or historical figures is unintended. Except for the fact that my parents really did not allow us any fun cereal of any kind.
I'm starting to think of these emails as sort of a one-sided pen pal exchange. Sure, every now and again you bombard me with hate mail or corrections to some questions I asked on February 27, 2009 (STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS, PEOPLE!), but mostly they remind me of the kind of exchange I once had with a girl I met in Ocean City when I was 10. Her family had rented a condo on the same floor as mine, and we spent two weeks of the summer playing on the beach and watching cartoons and eating sugary cereal (at her place of course- my parents GENEROUSLY ALLOWED us to have evil processed cereals like FROSTED MINI-WHEATS on vacation. I mean, come on, this was a step up from our usual choice of Grape Nuts or Wheat Chex, but certainly nowhere near anything resembling tiny cookies or anything that would turn your milk Technicolor pink.)
Our letters started off:
Dear Little Lady Trivia (because, of course, I had not yet risen to the stature I claim today),
HIYA! Howz your summer? Mine's great. My brother is stupid. I got a new horse. He's white and named Prince. Do you have a horse? I made you a friendship bracelet! We should start a Friendship Club!
Anywayz, gotta run!
Dear Horse Gurrrl,
Sup? My summer is ok. My brother is also stupid. I don't have a horse. I live in a stupid city. I have 2 cats. Only one likes me. I want a horse. I would name him Chad. Thanks for the bracelet! Can we have secret names in our Friendship Club?
My new horse is so awesome. Do you like the picture I sent you of me riding my horse? My secret name will be Princess Victoria and yours can be Miss Ethel.
Yeah, the pic is great. Here's a pic of me from swim team. I'm mad because I'm cold and because I got disqualified for not touching the wall with both hands. If I had a horse I'll bet I would not be so mad! How come you're not wearing your friendship bracelet in the picture?
Miss Ethel (I'm not sure that I like this name...could I be Princess Veronica?)
Dear Miss Ethel,
No, you can't be Princess Veronica because it sounds too much like my name and I already picked my name!
You didn't answer my question about the friendship bracelet!
Haven't heard from you in awhile! Friendship Club is not the same without you!
YOU AND YOUR STUPID HORSE AND YOUR STUPID PRINCESS NAME.
I'm never speaking to you again.
See you next summer!
PS: If you are interested in hosting a round, please let me know! Please note that the category of "A capella singing of rock ballads" has already been done.