Wednesday, June 15, 2011


I finally got around to a little more spring cleaning - specifically the Facebook Chop.

Every now and then, you become consciously aware that you're blasting out status updates and information to...well, I don't know how many friends you have on Facebook, but I was up to almost 500 friends. "Friends." I don't want 500 people knowing my biz-ness.

It's not that I post anything ultra-sensitive - CHECK OUT MY AWESOME SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER - or that I set myself up for bad situations - I'M STANDING AT THE CORNER OF LOMBARD AND CALVERT RIGHT THIS SECOND - or even that I post anything emotionally pithy - I AM MAD AT YOU, AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHY, ASK YOURSELF 'WHY?' AND YOU'LL PROBABLY REALIZE WHY I AM MAD.

It's more that...well...honestly, what's the point? Flicking through my "Friends," if I glance at your name and can't conjure up an image of who you are, what you look like beyond your profile picture, or how I know you within five seconds, then I don't think we should have any part of our lives linked together. Sure, maybe someday if I'm hankering for a kidney donation or trying to sell my book, then, yeah, I'll be "Friends" with as many damn people as I can find. But I don't really care if that guy I once sat next to in that class for half a semester before he transferred to another school knows that I'm enjoying two-for-one's at Happy Hour or that I really like Passion Pit.

And, let's be honest, there are people you are "Friends" with via social media purely for stalking purposes. That girl who made your life a living hell in the seventh grade? Hell yes, I want to know what she is doing with her life sixteen years later. (Yes, I just did the math there. Sixteen years later and I can still remember crying nearly every day of the seventh grade.) Does she still look mean? Yes, sort of. Or maybe it's just this picture. Oh, no, wait...she looks mean in the next picture too. She's probably still mean.

So I did a Facebook Chop. It wasn't anything personal. It was just...why am I "Friends" with you? I'm well aware that you shouldn't post anything on the Interwebs that you wouldn't want the entire world knowing, but there is still SOME illusion of privacy.

So, you know, now only 450 people know that I saw Bridesmaids last weekend. I feel safe and secure knowing that at least it's not 500.

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