Expat - Days 2 and 3

In this uber-exciting account, the cats arrive and we make an epic trip to IKEA.

First of all, I keep forgetting that I've only been here for 3 days. I am trying to figure out why I'm tired all of the time, and then I remember that I'm still burned out from my last hectic month in Baltimore and now currently trying to remember my new phone number, what time it is where, and what is in my shipment (in a boat somewhere crossing the Atlantic) and what I need to buy. Also, in other interesting discoveries, no one seems to know where anything is. I have thrice - perhaps even more - now gotten into taxis and had the cab driver ask me for directions to where I am going. You're asking the wrong person, here, dude. There are like 14 highways that crisscross this area and I have no clue what goes where.

Live animals! 50 pounds of paperwork taped to the top.

Moving the cats was simultaneously the easiest and most stressful aspect of the move. Easiest because we used a fantastic service - Pet Relocation - and they took care of everything. They told me which vet to use in Baltimore (apparently, you need one certified in international travel), helped me set up appointments, made sure I had all of the right paperwork correctly filled out, looked at the cats' records and told me which vaccines they needed, and walked me through every step of the process. They even told me exactly which carriers to purchase which are approved for international travel. The stress aspect came from the upsetting knowledge that I would be putting the cats through a lot to get them to the Middle East. Fiona, aka "Small, Troubled Cat," (click here for pics) throws a royal bitchfit whenever she has to go somewhere in the car so I couldn't imagine sticking her on a plane for umpteen hours.

A couple of things I didn't know about international pet travel:

1. As of (insert historical date here), pets are not allowed inside the cabin of commercial airliners when flying internationally. Instead, they must be shipped as cargo in a special pressurized cabin dedicated solely for this purpose. As a result, there are a limited number of carriers that actually do pet transfer services - Lufthansa, British Airways, and KLM to name the 3 that I know of. The plus side is that the hubs for each of these have boarding facilities and are well-versed in pet travel.

2. A reputable pet transfer service WILL NOT SEDATE YOUR PETS. I had originally thought this was the most humane way to get animals through very long flights, but my agent gave me some literature explaining that animals are naturally predisposed to dealing with high levels of stress and that sedation will confuse their bodies and can cause them to go into cardiac arrest. This is apparently the primary reason for things going wrong in pet shipments. 

The Relocater agent worked with me for the past month explaining each step of the process - health certificates, vaccines within 30 days, final vet visit within 10 days of travel, USDA health certificate approval - there was more paperwork involved in shipping the cats than my visa has required. An agent picked up the cats from where I was staying in Baltimore and another agent brought them to our new flat in Abu Dhabi. Door to door service! Also, they signed me up for Flight Aware alerts so I knew when the cats' flights departed and arrived, and they gave me all of the tracking information for the shipment. 

I wonder if the Animal Hotel is near the Red Light District?

The cats had a 10 or so hour layover in Amsterdam where they stayed in a kennel, had their crates cleaned, and were given food and water and a litter box. The agent in Abu Dhabi called once he had cleared customs with the cats and assured me that both were alive and looked good.

I have no idea how much either cat freaked out over the 48 hours that we were on our separate travels from Baltimore to Abu Dhabi, but I will say that within an hour or so of arriving in the new flat they were eagerly eating treats and purring and acting completely normal. However much #smalltroubledcat freaks out, she bounces right back. I didn't get much sleep that night because she slept ON my neck, licking my face. 

I was so relieved to have both cats arrive healthy - although probably not happy - and they are settling in quite well in the new flat. They have a balcony to lie on and many windows to look out of, and it's not -10 degrees the way it was in Baltimore so they're not huddled around the radiators trying to keep warm. Everyone is quite happy.

New desk! (one of 3 trolleys)

On the third day, God created IKEA and we went and bought everything. I didn't ship much in the way of furniture, and The Gentleman was living previously in a furnished apartment, so we had to buy things like a coffee table, dressers, a dining table and chairs, and a desk for me. Fortunately, if you spend more than 2500dhs (about $680 - which we most definitely did) they not only do free delivery but provide a team to put your furniture together. Huzzah not having to assemble IKEA furniture! 

Also, it's important to note that IKEA hosts Curry Wednesdays and you can make reservations for two for the classy IKEA Valentine's Dinner. The Gentleman refused to acquiesce, leaving me to believe that he doesn't think I deserve reservations for Valentine's Day at IKEA. Jerk.

All of our new furniture will be delivered on Monday, which will be quite welcomed as we're currently using cardboard boxes as our coffee table and have clothes all over everywhere because there's nowhere to put them. I did buy plates, bowls, utensils, and some pots so last night we had a very civilized dinner of leftovers on actual plates instead of paper and using actual utensils instead of plastic. 

The cats are weirdly obsessed with the shower. They don't understand it, and they like to go in it after it's been used and lick the water off of their paws. Weirdos.

 Coming up - chaos as it rains in Abu Dhabi!

Gypsy

I'm currently homeless, jobless, and without a car - and it's kind of awesome. 

I moved out of my beloved house in charming Little Italy last week and am staying temporarily with (very generous) friends in Harbor East until I exit the country this Saturday. This morning, I went to the MVA with my pal Jessica and signed over the title to her and turned in the tags for my (also beloved) Mazda 3. That car was (is) so awesome, and it's going to a very good new life with Jessica who, I know, will love and care for her as much as I did. 

The Gentleman got in last night, and we managed to catch some of the Superbowl (what the hell was that) before totally passing out from sheer exhaustion.

And then, suddenly, everything that I needed to do is done. All of the balls are no longer in my court,  but in the courts of those holding my international paperwork and earthly belongings and all I have to do for the rest of the week is tie up a few loose ends, present my Capstone project for my certification, graduate with said certification, and say a lot of tearful goodbyes.

There's nothing like moving to another country to bring you closer to people you love. Every lunch, brunch, dinner, drink, walk, and workout is painted with "only x left" or "one last," and it's also a time of recollection. "Remember when we..." and "Remember that time..." All of these conversations bring to a close the life you have been living and remind you that, whatever ish went down, all of it was mostly good and fun and will be missed.

And, suddenly, after a year and a half of long distance, The Gentleman - who is no longer my boyfriend, but - I hate this word but - my fiance is here, and there's no pending goodbye, no terrible public airport moment or tearful car ride home alone after a drop off. When we leave Baltimore on Saturday, we leave together, and we head to our new home in the desert. It will take some getting used to to have his handsomeness around me all of the time. Also, I fear a coup between him and the cats. There will be battles. But we'll figure it out.

Excitingly, there are invitations for book clubs, weekends in Dubai, workout classes, brunches, and dinners already in what will be my new home. Over the last year and a half, we've cultivated the seeds of what I hope will become good friends out there and a social life that will prove as fun and fulfilling as the one I had in Baltimore, albeit in a completely different setting. 

But, for now, it's wrapping up the few loose ends that exist here, attending some lovely gatherings full of people we know and love who are coming out to wish us well on our adventure, and making sure that the cats feel loved and appreciated in the midst of the craziness. 

And it's kind of nice to be a gypsy. But only for a week. I'll be ready to go home by the end of it.

Empty Room

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another" -Anatole France

There is just something about an empty room. It's the same room - my room, the same four walls I've lived in for the last few years. The same view from the windows, the same light coming in at exactly the same angle as it has around 4pm on a winter's day. Devoid of the things that make a room a bedroom, however; a bed, a lamp, a shelf of books; it's just a room. Where someone new will see possibilities, I see what was.

I don't think I have ever made such a drastic transition in my entire life, and I don't think I have ever been so ready to do so. In my time here in Baltimore, I've done everything I wanted to do, I've lived every life I wanted to live here, and I'm ready to move on. I'm ready for a new climate, a new culture, a new favorite cafe to work in, a new job, a new (permanent) roommate who I'm pretty psyched to live with, and the next stage of my life.

"We must die to one life before we can enter another." So many goodbyes in the past week, and many more to come in my last 8 days here in the States. These changes have been so very longed for, but they do have their melancholy. And there will be slips and scrapes and bad navigation and tearful conversations back home because the UAE doesn't have the right shampoo for girls with fine blonde hair and transition, but I welcome it. 

While I hope to one day feel more settled than I have, I hope to never be complacent. New challenges, new adventures, new paths while still working hard to maintain the love and relationships and lessons learned from prior lives. Because you can - and should - never fully shed yourself of your past lives. Rather, they should inform and complement the stages to come.

I leave one empty room behind with most of my earthly possessions packed into a shipping crate that will begin it's terrifically slow plod across the Atlantic next week (and take 6 weeks to reach me in the Middle East), but there is another empty room waiting for me. A room where I'll put a bed, a lamp, a shelf of books, and make it into a bedroom. An office. A living room. A really fabulous balcony. One life is being tied up in neat little bows, but another is only just forming. 

And leaving behind a part of myself is just fine by me - because that means there is always something to come back to to visit.

The Things You Never Considered...And Some You Probably Did

At midnight on New Years 2014, The Gentleman told me that I make him very happy, and then got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I said a lot of things then, like "Are you seriously doing this right now?" and "Is this happening?" and "Oh my God" and "Is this for real?" and then at some point I think I said yes, because we were hugging and there was this ridiculously awesome ring on my finger and everyone was clapping and - strangely - Iconapop's "I Love It" was playing and we got engaged. There's a video on Facebook. It's mostly of me looking shocked and The Gentleman looking handsome as always.


And then there was champagne. And tequila, but mostly champagne. I think I went to bed somewhere around 4am after making a lot of really expensive, really long-distance phone calls from the Middle East to friends and family in the States. The Gentleman fell asleep on the couch somewhere around 3am when I started Snapchatting pictures of my ring.


It was absolutely perfect. The Gentleman chose an evening where I had on a nice dress and had gotten my hair done and when I was (actually) completely not expecting it.


So now, I am packing up my life and about to end 7 years in Baltimore to move to the Middle East to be with my husband-to-be after a year and a half of long-distance. I have 25 days left in this country before expatriating and a lot of shit to do. Including wrapping up the job where I've been for the last three and a half years, filling out endless forms for visa paperwork, and interviewing for new jobs overseas. And we're engaged! And we're moving into a new flat!


When it rains...


SOME THINGS YOU PROBABLY NEVER CONSIDERED ABOUT MOVING OVERSEAS:


1. If you are taking your cats with you (which I, OF COURSE, am) this is going to be an incredibly expensive and traumatic endeavor for all parties involved. The cats will hate you because they will have to get a million shots and international microchips and have to make multiple trips to the vet. You will hate the vet because they failed to sign all of the requisite paperwork in WET, BLUE INK. (That's literally what it says - WET, BLUE INK) and you will have to make subsequent trips to get the paperwork signed appropriately. Also, the carriers that you will have to buy to transport said animals will be $50 apiece and the cats will shun them.


2. You are a ridiculous hoarder. I don't care how non-hoardy you think you are: move internationally and weep at what a disgusting person you are. WHY DID YOU KEEP _____________ (insert ridiculous memento here)?! You will throw away bags upon bags upon bags of earthly possessions that you now look at with new eyes and define as "trash." The sheer amount of stuff that you own will begin to haunt your sleep and often leave you lying wide awake at 3 in the morning, full of self-hatred and anxiety. You will need a friend to come over, drink wine with you, and exhibit tough love to force you to throw things out. Unless your friend is Bookclubjess in which case she will waiver and say unhelpful things like, "But what if you have to go to a costume party? Won't you need that dress?"


3. If you get engaged and then promptly move overseas less than a month later, you will have approximately 4 hours to enjoy your engagement bliss. I am hoping that I can pick up where I left off at 4am on January 1, 2014 once I am actually on the plane heading to my new home in the Middle East. I did rally enough to create a Pinterest board, which I'm told is the first step in wedding planning. Cross that one off the list.


4. Your passport photo is going to be seen by a bajillion people a bajillion times. Don't like the photo? Get over that shit right now. It's going to be front and center in your life for awhile.


5. Not many people know what Abu Dhabi is. It's the capital city in the country of the United Arab Emirates. Dubai is another major city in that country. It is a beautiful, welcoming country with electricity and high speed internet and running water that you can drink RIGHT FROM THE TAP and no, you will not have to wear traditional Muslim attire if you are not, in fact, a Muslim. They do not allow camels on major thoroughfares and - as a matter of fact - I've been there three times in the last year and I have yet to see a camel anywhere. I have, however, seen gold-vending ATMs and the world's largest Persian rug.


In all seriousness, despite the fact that I cry into my wine glass over what a hoarder I am and hope that someday the cats will forgive me for what I'm about to put them through, I can't help but feel like I somehow won the lottery here. I get to marry The Gentleman and move to a foreign country and have adventures. And hopefully write a book in the process. Probably about cats and hoarding.

Holidaze!

HAPPY HOLIDAZE!

Over the next two weeks, I will be traveling a grand total of 21,484 miles. For scale, the circumference of the globe is 24,901 miles. I'm missing it by 3,417 miles. Damn.

The magic formula of this mileage looks a little something like this:

Baltimore > New Jersey > Dulles > Doha, Qatar (layover) > Abu Dhabi (layover) > Amsterdam (layover) > Prague (for 2 days) > Amsterdam (layover) > Abu Dhabi (5 days) > Doha, Qatar (layover) > Dulles > Baltimore

= #YOLO?

= #guaranteedflu?

= #whiskeytangofoxtrot

This holiday season, I decided to do...everything! Spend Christmas day with the entire extended family, fly to Europe (via Abu Dhabi because, believe it or not, is was almost $2,000 CHEAPER to do so) for two days to be with The Gentleman's family who are overseas visiting Prague, and then to Abu Dhabi to spend New Years and also begin moving into our new flat which is available January 1. Huzzah! Exhaustion! Emergen-C! 

In between all of this, I am wrapping up my final paper for a year and a half long certification I've been doing through University of Baltimore, and gearing up for the last 3 weeks at my job when I get back in January. And packing up my existence and moving to another country by February 8. 

You know, no big deal.

One of the things I am most looking forward to in my expatriation is the opportunity to unpack my suitcase and LEAVE it unpacked for more than a couple of months. To just breathe for a few months and not gear up stress about time off of work, customs, time changes, currency exchanges, the potential of lost luggage, and standing in line for security. 

Do you have any idea how much of my life has been spent standing in line for airport security?

A lot.

I plan to sleep through most of February upon my arrival.

I am certain that this will not be the end of crazy travel at the holidays, especially in the future when we will not only be crossing the Atlantic multiple times a year but trying to see family and friends on both coasts of the US, but it will (happily) be the end of this chaotic long distance relationship. I'll gladly take the trade-offs. 

And it really is amazing to think that, within the span of a week, you can spend Christmas day with all of your extended family, then hop on a plane(s) and be in the Christmas markets of Prague with your partner and your partner's family, and then hop on a plane(s) again and be in the Middle East in the lovely 75 degree weather. Can't complain about any of that.

Thus, I embark on my two weeks of insanity starting today with a drive up to New Jersey to be with the whole family for Christmas day. Which I'm quite excited about. 

I just need take a metric shit ton of vitamins and Emergen-C. And possibly wear a SARs mask.


TECHNICAL SIDE NOTE FOR MY FELLOW BLOGGERS:
After The Big Move, I have grand plans for a blog redesign and re-launch. I'm thinking about moving to Wordpress or Squarespace. Thoughts? Suggestions?

Expat-To-Be

Please note: this attire is only required for mosque visits.
This is not everyday normal attire, which is more like designer jeans and stilletos yoga pants and flip flops.

مغامرة adventure

So, I'm moving to the Middle East. In February.

During a year and a half of long distance, The Gentleman and I have been plotting and planning and scheming and this is finally coming into fruition. I shall be uprooting my life here in Baltimore and moving, cats and all, to Abu Dhabi.

I'm pretty psyched.

This has meant a lot of planning and preparation, with much more to go, and a lot of soul searching. Truth be told, I have always wanted to live in another country. I didn't exactly picture the United Arab Emirates as that country, but hey- a foreign country is a foreign country, and it has gold ATMs and 75 degree weather in January to boot. Could be worse.

The underpinnings of this move are rooted in love, however, and not wanderlust. After three years together (a year and a half of them in an EXTREMELY LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP), The Gentleman and I have ascertained that we cannot live without the other any longer, and that we should be physically together as soon as possible so that we can commence with antics such as the time he told me that Paranormal Activity was a documentary and I cried for two days. That happened.

Love is so awesome.

(On a related note - my dad used to get a kick out of my firm belief that the Blair Witch Project was real. IT HAD A WEBSITE which, in 1998 or whatever, was a BIG DEAL and the stamp of authenticity. He was also convinced that Jodi Foster is a lesbian. I didn't fight him too much on that one.)

The truth is, over the last year and a half while The Gentleman sussed out life the Middle East, we have both been living a sort of half life. Every single day has an element of "having to be gotten through" as a day closer to when we could be together. This element of not living in the moment takes a toll, and a hefty one. The high highs of vacations together and the low lows of the long stretches (4 months at the max) of being apart seem so surreal now that we are down to less than 90 days before beginning the next step of our lives together. Thinking back, I see how I crammed a thousand hours of activities into every single day with the express purpose of making time pass as fast as possible. Talk about burn out.

Not that it was terrible. Over the past year and a half, I met and re-met some amazing friends, went on some pretty epic vacations, and picked up some new hobbies like quilt-making and air yoga and spinning. That was all pretty fun.

Charm City has been very good to me over the past seven years, and I will be sad to leave it. But also excited for life in a different country for a couple of years and learning/embracing the expat lifestyle. And, you know, being with The Gentleman. That will be ok too, I guess.

Watch this space for upcoming adventures as I navigate things like:
1. Navigating the expat paperwork situation
2. Moving 2 cats overseas (one who is small and extremely troubled to begin with)
3. Do they have blonde bobby pins in the Middle East?
4. Saying goodbye for now to so many family and friends that my heart is going to explode and burst out of my eyes. In the form of tears. Which I'll say are allergies.

Onward! 

TOMORROW!!

Hooray! 114 days down, one to go! The Gentleman will be here tomorrow. The joy of a long-distance relationship - the awesome airport reunion, which is the antithesis of the horrible airport goodbye.

I think this calls for Barry Manilow.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc4TnopiuzQ

ONLINE COUNTDOWN

It Never Gets Easier

You do get used to the 8 hour time difference, to flight delays, to lost luggage, to foreign currency clinking around in all of your bags, to attending events solo, and to texting "wish you were here" a thousand times but thinking it a million more. You may not like it, but you grow accustomed to it, and you know what to expect, and how to deal with it.

But the goodbye, no matter where it takes place - on a curb-side drop off under the DEPARTURES sign, or a ticket counter, or on your front stoop with an airport shuttle waiting - that never gets any easier. In fact, it might even be the one thing that gets harder.

We've been long-distance for almost a year (two weeks shy, in fact) and have had to do this good-bye 7 times. And it's the worst. Sometimes I almost think a hasty tuck-and-roll out of the car would be better, or a high-five, or a "good game" butt slap. I don't know. 

You get used to a lot of things, and accept a lot of things as "normal" when you're in an Extreme Long Distance relationship, but the good-bye is not one of those things. 

I'd rather stick with hello.

"Are you guys even long-distance anymore?"

So says Hot Curry, during our Skype session with her husband Lee (who sent me THE BEST birthday gift, beeteedubs - more on that later). It was in reference to the fact that The Gentleman is currently in town this week, and we are burning through more of our precious PTO to take a couple of days and head 'downy ohhh-shun' like good little Baltimoreans. Pick crabs, drink beer, ride waves and carnival rides of questionable stability and just generally hoot 'n holler and be down home for a long weekend. This is a change from our usual hooting and hollering and classless behavior that usually takes place in much more exotic locations. This time we'll probably even blend in.

But, yes, the last I checked, the United Arab Emirates hadn't crept any closer on the map to Baltimore City, so we are indeed still in an Extreme Long Distance Relationship, albeit one where we've gotten lucky enough to see one another every month for the past four months. Through internet finds on cheap flights and the help of a friend who works in the airline industry, we are racking up trans-Atlantic miles on the cheap and getting to spend good, quality time together.

After this trip, unfortunately, we will probably go back to that good old fashioned "seeing each other every 3-4 months" routine, which sucks, but is much cheaper and allows us both time to rack up more PTO from work. Le sigh.

But, for now, I'm packing sunscreen and plenty of books to go lie in the sun with all the other lobsterish tourists, The Gentleman by my side. We are lucky, lucky, lucky and I'm trying to enjoy every moment before he has to fly back to the Land of Sand (which, by the by, is NOT where you want to be June-July-August - average temps of 100 and up with like 500% humidity which makes Maryland feel so pleasantly mild). 

Packing Up Again

These are the little guys I got us when my boyfriend moved overseas. We always bring them with us when traveling.  There will be a whole post of their adventures at some point. This is them posing in The Gentleman's living room window. He has a terrible view. 

What a crazy year.

I have to segue from my posts about Mexico to say that I'm currently in the middle of my about-to-travel routine. I'm headed back out to the Middle East on Thursday, which means that for the fifth time in less than a year I'm leaving the country. At this point, I don't even put my suitcase away anymore - it now has a home on the floor of my room. My passport remains in my carry-on, along with eye drops, ear plugs, and an eye mask. I'm thinking ahead eight time zones and remembering to call my credit cards to tell them I'll be overseas and making sure that my cats are taken care of. (My roommate is awesome and not only feeds and waters the cats while I'm gone, she loves on them with brushings, treats, and trips to sit outside on the balcony. I think they are starting to like her better than me.)

I was talking to one of my besties, Stupid, this morning, and she mentioned that while, at first, The Gentleman's announcement that he was being sent overseas for work was a pretty difficult pill to swallow, it's turned into a year of incredible travel opportunity. And she's right. While I would much rather have The Gentleman by  my side (because he's handsome and funny and cooks really good pad thai), our joint love of travel and adventure has propelled us into some pretty awesome experiences. Our separation is temporary, and while being in an Xtreme Long Distance Relationship has been the hardest thing I have ever. Done. Hands. Down, it's also been the best. 

Travel is one of my most favorite things, and I have had opportunities to do things that I probably never would have had if it weren't for our circumstances. What we are doing is incredibly difficult and a lot of hard work, but we are young and we both have decent amounts of PTO from our jobs and the means to travel, and so he gave me the best parting gift he possibly could by saying "Where do you want to go next?"

I am extraordinarily lucky to have had these experiences, and luckier still to have them with my most favorite person. And so, yes, I prepare for another 15-hour flight and Xtreme Jet Lag (I am SO BAD at jet lag...I mean, no one is particularly GOOD at it, but I am REALLY REALLY TERRIBLE no matter how often I experience it), but I'm also preparing for more adventures with someone I love a whole lot. 

I'm hoping to post the remainder of my Mexico photos before I leave, but seeing as how I am up to my eyeballs in laundry and still have two full work days before my 10pm flight, it may just have to wait until I get back. And there will be more adventures to tell then, too.

Onward!

Mexico - SPRING BREAK

Delightful.

I feel slightly compelled to defend our choice of going to Cancun in late March by saying that:
a) It was cheaper than our first choice (Key West)
b) As an expat, The Gentleman cannot be in the United States for more than 30 days within a calendar year. Coming home for two weeks meant that leaving the country for 6 days of those two weeks buys him a little more time on another visit.
c) After our last few vacations, I put my (admittedly spoiled and bourgeois-y) foot down and declared that I wanted to lie on a beach and read chick lit and have drinks brought to me. I do love history and museums, but I also love "Doing Nothing." And by "Doing Nothing," I mean all of the aforementioned activities. 

We picked Cancun based on the sole fact that the flights weren't outrageously expensive, and we could find something all-inclusive. But herein lay a conundrum: Cancun? In March? The Gentleman and I are both well above the requisite Spring Break Age Limit of 23 (argue all you want - that EXISTS), and I didn't want any wet T-shirt contests or drunken bro's to disturb my daily regimen of British chick lit and Bloody Marys beachside. After some thorough research (any hotel that bragged about ENDLESS, BOTTOMLESS, or TOPLESS was immediately rejected), we discovered that the resort where we'd stayed in the Dominican for a wedding last May has a sister resort in Cancun. Our vacation had been incredibly lovely, and nothing like the all-inclusive nightmares you've heard. The food was delicious, the service impeccable, the rooms spotless, the beaches pristine. 

And so, we arrived at 8pm on March 26 at Dreams Cancun and discovered that we had certainly picked the right resort for charm, beauty, and no SPRING BREAKKKKK-eyness going on.

Unfortunately, we went a bit too far in the other direction....

The Gentleman and I were slated to stay in a fully-booked resort for six days, and apparently we had forgotten to bring children under ten. Because EVERYONE ELSE HAD THEM. IN SPADES.

Far away from fountains of tequila shots or sexy contests involving whipped cream and bananas, we found ourselves at Cancun's Familiest Friendliest Resort. Not once could I get into the hot tub - because it was completely full of small children. A small children stew, if you will. The first night we went to the resort's on-site night club, we were treated to a lip-synced sing-along rendition of Grease, complete with a blonde-wigged Sandy whose dark Mexican curls kept springing out from under. As I lay on the beach reading child-inappropriate literature and drinking fully-liquored Bloody Marys, I was kicked with sand as children ran by, and at one point nearly clocked in the head with a stray horseshoe from a nearby game.

BUT - and I will fully admit this - it's pretty hard to complain about much of anything when you're at a beautiful beach resort with unlimited food and drinks and the person you love. We had a truly fantastic time. And if we find ourselves someday having seventeen children under the age of ten, we know just where we'll go for vacation.

And, to be fair, any resort that claims to be "adults only" is, well....slightly dodgy. Maybe next time we just won't go on vacation the week of Easter. That's all I can think of, because everyone in Cancun kept talking about how it was the "slow time of spring," and that the "spring break rush" was over. Not at Dreams Cancun. That place was hopping with virgin pina coladas and limbo competitions on the beach. Which is completely unfair, because not only are those kids all hopped up on sugar (and no liquor), but they are VERY SHORT and can OBVIOUSLY LIMBO MUCH BETTER BECAUSE OF THE SHORTNESS.

Not that I'm mad about that or anything.

Anyhoodle. It was a lovely vacation. I read three books and drank a lot of cervesas.

Oh, and our room? It overlooked a dolphin pen.

A DOLPHIN PEN.

Up early on the first morning to enjoy my coffee...

....with the dolphins hanging out below. DOLPHINS.

The dolphins do shows throughout the day. More on thiss in a later post, wherein I kiss one of said dolphins. (See side panel of blog for evidence.)

Day One was overcast and slightly chilly.

The Gentleman made an attempt to stick a foot in the water, but alas - the Caribbean on this particular day was a LOT colder than it looks....

We stuck it out, lying determined by the beach, until it started to rain on us. Cold and clouds we could handle...rain we could not.

So we went for a walk. This was a giant lamp in the hotel lobby. I took about 17,467 pictures of it. In fact, The Gentleman became annoyed because everytime we walked past it, I wanted to get my camera out and take another picture. "IT'S DIFFERENT LIGHT RIGHT NOW." 

A walk just out of our resort led us to where all the kids hang out (although not today, apparently....)

Nothing. Makes. Sense.

The weather was not lovely on the first day.

But the SECOND day.....  !!

Dolphins having their breakfast.

View of neighboring resort from our balcony.

I  MEAN, WE ARE OVERLOOKING A DOLPHIN POOL. HOW COOL IS THAT?!

Much like the Dominican, the resort is absolutely beautiful and brings the outdoors in. Light and airy with plants and birds everywhere.

The dolphin pool sucks salt water in from the Caribbean, and it drains slightly when the tide goes out.

One of the restaurants had an albino catfish. He was not on the menu.

The same gray sea - a day later.

I don't know what compels me to take pictures like this. I just need to.

Nighttime.

The third day we were there, I decided to try out the resort's yoga class. They said to be at the gazebo at 9am. This is the gazebo. Where they do yoga. Outside.

DOES IT GET ANY BETTER?! (Obligatory foot pic)

This is the view from the gazebo. Where they do yoga. Outside.

Bird!

 Stay tuned for: Adventures in Coco Bongo, the Food (of course), and my cuddle episode with a dolphin.