Day Five Thousand...I mean, Day Six.

So, some things haven't changed.


It's been six days since I climbed out of the Bed Fort. Minus the two hours I spent in there on Tuesday night when I had an attack of wanting to do nothing but watch Bob's Burgers with the cats. But I'm starting to suspect that was less of wanting Bed Fort and more of just wanting to do absolutely nothing after a day of endless meetings.


You know those days.


The things that haven't changed in the last week (a neatly bulleted list):

• I still text The Gentleman when I am stuck in traffic. Being stuck in traffic is one of my biggest pet peeves, and the only reason I think I'd ever consider going to live somewhere remote. I HATE traffic. I become my basest self when I in traffic. In fact, very recently, my sailor's mouth got the worst of me when The Gentleman's poor mother was in the backseat of my car as I attempted to navigate Baltimore City rush hour. I simply cannot be held accountable for what comes out of my mouth, any hand gestures I might make, or texts that I send that usually come in ALL CAPS. TO VENT MY FRUSTRATION. He's used to it.
• I get up, I go to the gym, I go to work. The sun appears to be still rising and setting normally, and to my knowledge time seems to have slowed down only for me. I believe that might be due to "perspective." So no real metaphysical changes.
• I'm still afraid of my basement because one of my friends said it had a "bad vibe." This really has nothing to do with The Gentleman moving away, but it's a point of normalcy in my life so I embrace it.
• I feel his absence acutely. I don't foresee this changing.

And the things that have changed:

• My God, it's quiet. 
• I haven't eaten a single organ meat all week. Usually we have at least one adventurous meal a week, either something random from the Korean market that we have no idea how to (or if we should) cook it, or a half-priced appetizer featuring ingredients we're pretty sure the chef got on sale in April and is trying to kick out the door while still turning a profit. 
• My feet are unusually crampy because no one will rub them.
• My mind is constantly in two time zones. When we Skype, we are in opposing time zones - one of us is getting ready for bed while the other is just getting up, or vice versa. When I get to work in the mornings, I usually get a text as he leaves work for the day. No matter what time of day it is for me, I'm doing mental math to calculate what time it is where he is. Right now, it's 8:58pm, which means it's 4:58am for him. 
• Instead of sharing things with him in person, I have to do so via text or email. I bought this truly life-changing hummus (hummOUs) today (bear with me) that has black truffle olive oil in it. I KNOW, RIGHT?! Normally, I would have taken a big spoonful of it and run right over to him and forced him to try it immediately so that he could experience the life-changingness of it all. Instead, I had to take a picture of the label and email it to him. Kind of not the same.

Mostly though, I just feel as though waking up every day requires another adjustment. Much the way I had to make adjustments when we first started dating to let him into my life, so do I now have to let him into my life in other ways. Find ways to stay connected and feel togetherness while still maintaining my life and happiness independently of his physical presence. 


I do have to say: thank God for Google voice. It's seriously the best thing ever.


Since Black Truffle Hummus (HummOUs), that is.


Oh, and my room is still really clean. I've actually been folding my clothes and putting things away all week. I have no idea how long this will last.

Seriously life-changing. And local! You're welcome.